Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Passion



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Passion’s hawkish fever
Updraft captures descent
Feathers and Talons


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3 comments:

EP Hemingweigh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Craig and Bethany said...

EP- In the first one you might try the word "now". It's simple and to the point. It doesn't have a lot of surprise to it, but sort of fits the rest of the line.

In the second one you could try a word like "breathe" to go with shriek or maybe refer to a person like "dad" or even a specific name. It's sort of had to stick to one syllable here. I admit I like the second haiku a little better because of the stronger image of the volcano. I also prefer the word shriek over the word scream. Then again, you'll probably come up with something complete different that will be even better. Surprise us all!

Goat- Love the pics and the haiku. You really capture the unsteadiness of passion. I've loved having a post every day this week. What a treat. SooOOooo much better than the morning paper. :) Thanks.

EP Hemingweigh said...

EP Hemingweigh said...
here is the third of three
any ideas of what word to put in now?
returned call no luck
known disturbance it cant be
scream who am i __________

or

exchanged words failure
noted confusion what who
volcanic shriek ___________
April 30, 2009 6:53 AM